According to AP, it’s official: we’re in a recession. We’ve been in one since December 2007. Cue the sirens! Stop the presses! Ring the alarm! Drop and gimme 50! Who knew?</end sarcasm>.

The media must think people are stupid. We’ve known for quite some time that a recession is on deck. How did we know before they did? Do normal people have some sort of insight that the media doesn’t? Um, yea. I’m going to take the liberty and speak for everyone, and let you know how we knew it was a damn recession.

1. No holiday bonus. What part of the game is that? Many of us did not get a holiday bonus last year. Or an office Christmas party. The closest thing most of us got to having a holiday party was huddling with our coworkers in the breakroom over weak coffee and vending machine snacks. Feliz Navidad! You better be happy you have a damn job to get up and go to everyday, don’t push it by asking for extras. And please, please God let the direct deposit post when it’s supposed to. Sometimes companies are a little shoddy with posting payroll on time.

2. Mass layoffs. When a company breaks the news that they’re laying everybody off, that’s an indicator of a recession. Maybe not necessarily on a macro level, but it shows that things may not be going so well in your industry or field. There’s a shortage of money, and the company can’t keep afloat so they start cutting folks. One day, everything’s all honky-dory. The next day, upper management calls a staff meeting and tells everyone that they’re getting cut come January. Ouch! Polish up that resume, babies.

3. Crime goes up. In some areas of society, crime remains at a constant. The inner cities of America know this fact pretty well. But when rich white men start offing their wives to save dough,  and finance workers kill themselves and their families because they can’t afford to take care of them, you know shit is bad. People are resorting to murder to save money. I guess the cost of living is too much.

4. Wyclef lost his house. A part of me thinks that as long as Wyclef has been making hits, he should be wiping his ass with Benjamins. Hello, he was in the Fugees! But then again, I know of the legacy of artists mismanaging their funds, and it’s possible that maybe he doesn’t have as much money as I thought. Someone please call 911!

**I didn’t include the stock market crash as an indicator, because a) that’s hella obvious, and b) I don’t have any money invested in stocks so I didn’t feel that one personally.

I’m sure there are other indicators that I missed. When did you feel the recession hit? Speak your piece.

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